Praxis für Psychosomatische Medizin u. Psychotherapie, Coaching, Mediation u. Prävention
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How to make out shame


The following phenomena are characteristic for shame coming into play:

  • Someone often asks oneself: “What are the others thinking of me?” ( If I did this and that, what would the others think then?)

  • Someone often makes use of the word “one” or “you”.

  • Someone tends towards devaluation and pays more attention to faults than to its competence and achievements.

  • Someone can hardly say no, (cannot define one’s viewpoint).

  • Someone can hardly compete.

  • Someone wants to please everybody, tends towards conformity.

  • Someone is busy with oneself above all.

  • Someone is not able to be glad about something or proud of something.

  • Someone sees oneself as inferior.

  • Someone is not sociable ( hates to be the focus of interest, hates to leave house) or suffers from social phobia. Someone reacts with fear, panic or depression in presence of others (e.g. be afraid of going to school).


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  • Someone feels lonely and left out of things.

  • Someone finds it difficult to describe its feelings.

  • Someone devaluates an other person, shames or humiliates someone, shows someone up, is cynical.

  • Someone shocks the world around us by behaving in a strange and conspicuous way.

  • Someone has a secret or is being dominated by a (family) secret, keeps things to oneself.

  • Someone is worried about taking away time from oneself (e.g. taking away treatment capacity from the psychotherapist.)

  • Someone is suspicious, compulsive and unable to dedicate oneself (to confide in someone).

  • Someone is very insecure about his identity. He often asks himself if he is meant. He can hardly identify himself with his various inner voices.

  • Someone suffers from uncertain physical symptoms, which frightens. (cannot interpret emotions in correctly.