Praxis für Psychosomatische Medizin u. Psychotherapie, Coaching, Mediation u. Prävention
Dr. Dr. med. Herbert Mück (51061 Köln)

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Ways to improve social interaction

 

For a lot of us it is very hard to initiate contact with other people.  The following suggestions should help make that first step easier. The most important factor in this matter is having the courage to say something to begin with. The actual content of the conversation is often secondary. By initiating a conversation one can find out if the other person is interested in social interaction. Do not assume if someone else is interested or not. Often this interest can be made to grow during a discussion. 
 

Laughing opens doors

The magic way of making contact with other people easier is a genuine friendly smile. At least one should take on an open and friendly look that invites contact. When the people in front of you smiles back, then you have already established a form of contact. If you are now also able to find the right conversational topic, you have probably already “won” this person.

Start a conversation with a compliment

Open a conversation with a compliment. This is more interesting and appealing for the other person than any remark on the weather. For the topic of your compliment, select a feature from the person that really impresses you. Otherwise the compliment might come across as not genuine. Continue on the topic if your conversation partner shows interest. Examples: “ you are wearing a beautiful…. Where did you get it?” or “you have such a wonderful smile, one can not stop from smiling with you”

Use body language

If you have seen couples that are in love sitting in a restaurant, than you have probably noticed that a lot of their body movements are similar. They support themselves with the same arm, they pick up a glass with the same hand and have their legs positioned in the same way. Use this principle to make initiating contact with other people easier. Create an “understanding” in a non-verbal way by mirroring the other person’s body attitude. Using this principle can be very useful because it will make relating much easier. 


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Evaluate and Understand

Find out who in your environment is interested in relating to you. Can you recognize any reactions from your verbal or non-verbal expressions? Express what you have interpreted from the other persons’ behavior. Example: When someone is Cleary not comfortable in a situation, you can say, “It looks like you are not feeling well here”. Do not hesitate to find out if the other person is interested in continuing the contact (for instance: “ I hope my question was not too bold” or “ Please excuse me for being so direct”)

Humor

You can create an open and conversational atmosphere by applying humor (do however respect any other sentiments that might be there too).  Do not joke on the expense of other people.

Open up

Refrain from acting like a reporter. Do not bombard your partner with questions. The more you are showing yourself, the more interest you can generate. A good conversation is a mixture from interest in the other person and opening up too. When you do that, you make it easier for other people to relate to you. However, remain authentic. You can even express any insecurity you might have. Expressing your strengths and weaknesses can make it easier for other people to relate you and enjoy building a relation ship.